Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder

Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder or SADD, is a form of depression that is directly linked to or caused by the weather or time of year. Why you ask am I telling you this? I'm telling you this because it is a very real form of depression that I personally suffer from. There are two types, Summer and Winter. I always thought it was only related to Winter weather but apparently some people can be affected by the Summer weather as well.

Don't get me wrong, I suffer from depression ALL the time. I had been medicated off and on since my late teens/early twenties. But after I had The Man I have been medicated permanently. After I had The Man I saw a Dr. who thought I may be Bi-Polar. When I called my mom and told her this possible diagnosis her first response was "Oh My gosh don't tell anyone" What? Now this was six years ago but it has still bothered me a little bit. Like if I had diabetes or cancer or high blood pressure, would she still have said "Don't tell anyone" probably not. But it is the same thing, depression is when your body/brain is not working or clicking the way it should. For the record I was not diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder, however,it would not have surprised me.

Even though I take my meds every day, this year is hitting particularly hard. I don't know why but this past week has been brutal.
Symptoms of winter-onset seasonal affective disorder include:

■Depressed mood
■Irritability
■Hopelessness
■Anxiety
■Loss of energy
■Social withdrawal
■Oversleeping (feeling like you want to hibernate)
■Loss of interest in activities you normally enjoy
■Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates such as pastas, rice, bread and cereal
■Weight gain
■Difficulty concentrating and processing information

Now the fact that I live in a frozen tundra does NOT help this. Every year at this time, I start dreaming about palm trees and sunshine to the point that I want to call a realtor, put the house on the market, and Chris registered for a couple of job seeker sites today. I'm not saying we are moving because I am fairly certain that will never happen but my dream would be to move south....immediately.

Other than meds and moving 700 miles away there are a couple different ways to treat this. I have gone tanning in the past which helps, but is expensive, bad for my skin, and part of the depression is that it's hard to leave the house :) (aka catch 22) There are also light therapy boxes to sit in front of, that are available so I am looking into finding one but they are also not free.

I don't share this with all of you because I am looking for sympathy or let me know what I can do for you stuff, because I wish there was something someone could do. But it is what it is. I share this because if I seem distant blah blah blah this is why. I'm working on it. I don't like it, it's not fun but it's not personal to anyone else, it's my deal and I really do my best to put on a good show, but this week it's not working out so well.

I am so blessed in so many ways and in my brain I keep telling myself that I don't have a "good reason" to feel depressed but I can't help it, and that is what is so frustrating. This may come as a shock to many of you (all 3 of you that read my blog) but I am a little controlling... I know, I know, catch your breath, and the fact that I cannot control this almost makes it worse. I can't even think of anything sarcastic or snarky to say. That is never a good sign. But I will get through. I just may not leave my house until March or so.